Why life seems unfair: you keep watering the weeds

The Illusion of Fairness

A big part of growing up is to be wise with who you spent your time and space with.
To learn who deserves your love.
To appreciate yourself so much, that you put limits on how far you can go.

We humans like to phantasize about love.

Love is portrayed as this undrainable source of power. Love as all powerful.

And as much as this is true, and the great saints of all time like Buddha and Jesus realized this, we need to realize one thing:

Our energy & time is limited.

You only have so much years and time left.
You have specific goals in this lifetime.
You have a dream life outcome.

In order to realize this dream outcome, you are bound to take action in and take responsibility.

The paradox here is; that you get free only through limiting your “freedom”.

Staying in the freedom of options forever is illusive, because like Peter Pan, you are in a state of consciousness that is baptized in fantasies of an unrealized child.

Decisive action crystallizes your highest path. It makes all other life lines impossible.

In Holistic Lifestyle coaching; this is a crucial step.
We have always three choices:

• The optimal choice
• The suboptimal choice
• Not choosing at all

Both the optimal choice and the suboptimal choice lead you to progress in life. The suboptimal choice let’s you learn out of mistakes and makes you more wise for the next chapter of life.

Not choosing at all on the other hand will make you passive and negates the possibility in life to learn anything.

This Loveletter will help you.
It will show you how to tell if a relationship is good for you. If it isn't, it will motivate you to end it. This way, you will avoid harmful energy exchanges.
Just like you want to be profitable in your finances, you want to also profit from the circle of relationships you have around you.

Everything else will make you go minus in the long run and eventually, will deplete you.

The Cycle of Energy Exchange

Energy flows like currency. Just as we wouldn’t pour money into a bottomless pit, we ask ourselves the same about our energy:

“Who replenishes you? Are you nurturing good relationships, or are you endlessly watering dead soil?”

Some exchanges fill you, others drain you.

These patterns over time determine your life’s trajectory. If you water only the invasive plants, they flourish and overrun the flowers. If you nurture what nurtures you, the garden blooms with beauty, abundance and resilience. The thing you would want out of life.

At the heart of this exchange rests a universal truth:

the flow of energy is a cycle. And this cycle, this eternal dance, is beautifully embodied in the torus.

The torus geometry is a donut.

The Torus is the shape that every magnetic field embodies.

But the torus is also more than a scientific concept; it’s the blueprint of life’s give-and-take. Energy spirals inward and upward, drawing negativity, pure potential, and raw elementals into its core. This core, is your heart (more on the magnetic field of the heart in “How to Fix your Lack of Courage"). From this renewed center, your heart, energy radiates outward and downward. It gives positivity, growth, and creation to the world around it.

The torus mirrors the Earth's magnetic field, the movement of galaxies, and even the shape of an apple. It’s nature’s way of saying that what you give must also nurture what you receive. When this flow is disrupted, the system rots. We either give endlessly without replenishment, or we hoard and refuse to give back. The math does not add up.

It either grows for the sake of growing, like cancer cells, or it stops due to lack of food.

So, look at your life!

Who and what represents the flowers in your garden? Who waters you? And just as importantly, who or what do you water in return?

Torus dynamics is a metaphysical lesson. Energy exchange is a sacred responsibility. It is yours to nurture and master.

Why Life Feels Unfair

Life feels unfair when the balance of your torus is thrown off—when you give energy to people, goals, or pursuits that can’t or won’t return it.

The Earth’s magnetic field. Its torus shields us from harmful radiation, drawing energy in and releasing it outward to sustain life. When that field is compromised, life becomes vulnerable—fragile against external forces.

Your personal torus works the same way.

When you absorb the wrong energies—negativity, unattainable desires, or toxic connections—you pollute your inner field. The outward flow weakens, leaving you drained and unprotected.

Without a healthy balance of give and take, your ability to thrive fades.

It is knowing when to soften up and when to harden your shell.

Learn more about saying no in “For Freedom Chasers: What is a Sovereign Citizen?”

Life doesn’t feel unfair because it is; it feels unfair because your energetic exchange agreements are out of balance. To restore balance, you must recalibrate what you give, what you take in, and where your energy flows.

Recalibrating Your Focus & Clearing Your Field

To bring your torus back into harmony, recalibrate where your energy flows. Balancing our spaces mirrors balancing our energy - a mystical art.

Cluttered homes, like cluttered minds, block life's vital flow. Our surroundings echo our inner state. Stagnant rooms breed stagnant spirits. By cleansing our environment, we cleanse ourselves.

Ancient traditions and modern scientific principles spring from this knowledge of the invisible world. I will show you some actionable steps to align and cleanse your environment for optimal well-being. I did my Feng Shui Coach certification for this commitment.

Self-Audit Through the Torus Lens

Reflect.

• “Where does my energy flow outward without being returned?”
• “Who or what nurtures and replenishes me? Where do I feel drained or invigorated?”

Write it down. List the people, projects, and routines that draw from you versus those that give back. Patterns will emerge.

• Say No Without Guilt: Decline commitments that don’t serve your highest good. Show no shame, but be polite.

• Limit Access: Some people and pursuits siphon energy without reciprocating. Protect yourself by limiting how much of your time and focus they receive. Trust your gut.

• Reinforce Your Gut Feeling: If your intuition tells you something isn’t right, act on it immediately. The faster you seal leaks, the stronger your torus becomes. More on the enteric nervous system in Salute the Sun: Whats Wrong With Your Gut and How to Fix It

• Open Windows Daily: Fresh air revitalizes the mind and clears stagnant energy. In Islamic tradition, it is believed that fresh air repels negative entities like gins. Modern research supports this, showing that ventilation improves mental clarity and reduces stress.

• Burn Incense or Herbs: Sage, palo santo, cedar, and frankincense have long been used to purify spaces. The act of burning these substances not only uplifts the atmosphere but also aligns the room’s energy with the Earth’s natural scents and frequencies.

• Keep Water Clean and Moving: Still and stagnant water breeds illness and disease, much like unprocessed emotions weigh us down.
  
  Drink filtered water (more on water filtration in “Safe” doesn't equal Good: A Simple Hydration Guide).
  
  Regularly clean indoor fountains or aquariums to maintain a flow that mirrors our emotional life.

• Natural Light: Open your curtains and let sunlight flood your space. Sunlight not only kills bacteria but also keeps vampires away & uplifts the energy field of a room.

• Candles and Fire: Fire represents transformation. Lighting candles, especially beeswax candles, burns away negativity and introduces warmth and grounding energy into the space.

• Bring Nature Indoors: Plants such as peace lilies, snake plants, and ferns purify the air and introduce a calming vibrational presence.
  
  But don't let the bad guys grow. Keep track and control of mold in your living place.

• Create Harmonic Resonance through placing perfect geometries like orgone structures (pyramids)

More on general tips on how to use the 5 elements of metal, wood, earth, fire and water in your surroundings in Feng Shui Secrets: What seperates "Good" from "Otherworldly"

Closing Thoughts: Water the Right Seeds

Following the principle of positive reinforcement and investing wisely in your exchanges, relationships and surroundings sparks a virtuous cycle. As you nourish soul-enriching activities, they blossom and reward you. Creativity comes alive, well-being flourishes, and purpose crystallizes. Life's rhythm shifts - relationships deepen, inspiration flows freely. Struggle fades as each moment aligns with your deepest intentions. 

The torus embodies life's rhythm, a universal pattern. Everything is the torus. An apple, a human, a planet, a galaxy. Tend to your personal torus with care. Annulate energy-draining habits and cultivate soul-nourishing pursuits. Let your vitality circulate freely.

I hope I could enhance your life in any way today,

much love.

kiss kiss,
Tarkan