The journey of healing goes through intertwined layers

When someone approaches me and says,
"Tarkan, I want to improve and get more money."

I know it's rarely just a simple request for more money.

Behind the request lies deeper desires.

Let’s imagine they want to boost their business. They want more cash flow, seeking better deals—it's a common need. A straightforward service provider, like a savvy marketing agency, could certainly meet that demand.

Yet, here’s the thing: you chase money, not for it’s own sake, but for something deeper. You seek confidence, love, and a sense of belonging. Everything that you think would come with the money.

This is where we get it wrong.

Real transformation happens when we address the root of the issue with precision. Real transformation happens when we hit the nail with the hammer.

In order to do that, we need to be precise in the true incentives behind most of the times superficial goal setting. And we humans happen to be psychologically complex beings. We experience trauma and learn to avoid feelings. Sometimes this avoidance then transforms into some totally different behaviour. We are naturally covert beings. A sexual trauma can influence your behaviour in the professional world, even though it seems totally unrelated.

On the journey of healing, what you as the client, is seeing as the goal may differ from my perspective as a coach.

You might think the next step is on the physical level, while I sense an emotional blockage that needs to be addressed before we can move forward. The beauty of this process is that you have the time to discover your full self, which typically consists of four layers:

• physical,
• emotional,
• spiritual,
• and mental.

Control Systems Overview

Our existence is a masterpiece of interconnected systems.

The Physical, Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual layers work together to shape our experience of life. These layers do & can not operate in isolation—they continuously interact with vital physiological subsystems, like the musculoskeletal, visceral, hormonal, and limbic systems.

When functioning within the "zone of normal" (meaning relatively stress free), these control systems maintain harmony. But if stress, trauma, or misalignment happens in one area, it can ripple through the others.

Example given: Unresolved emotional stress can manifest as hormonal imbalances or physical tension. Neglecting the spiritual layer can negatively influence mental clarity and emotional resilience.

Understand these control systems and their interactions, so you can approach health and your evolution holistically. We all live on these realities. Some more in others, some less. But they are core realities within the human experience.

Let’s uncover those layers!

The Mental Layer – The Architect of Awareness

"The All is Mind; the Universe is Mental.” the principle of mentalism — Kybalion

The mental layer shapes our awareness.
It influences our life experience through thoughts, beliefs, and cognitive processes.

A healthy mind says the first step to mental clarity is identifying what truly matters to us. This includes finding our purpose and what brings us joy.

In short, "what is your dream?"
Our dream guides us to set goals and take purposeful actions.

A balanced mental state involves clear thinking and directing our energy effectively. It's about solving problems, creating priorities, executing them, and cultivating thoughts that support our well-being.

We can differentiate, prioritize and plan effectively.

An imbalance in the mental layer can lead to confusion and overthinking. Ego-driven behaviors can cloud our ability to make progress. Our enslavement to patterns from our childhood trauma can lead us away from our highest potential. The mental layer takes on the role of the “manager” of the all the layers.

Mental clarity is an ongoing process of alignment with our inner architect and the larger vision of our life.

We don’t let life wash us away.
We are the captain of our ship.

Common Imbalances:

• Overthinking and mental fog.
• Difficulty prioritizing and focusing.
• Ego-driven decision-making.
• Negative self-talk and limiting beliefs.
• Procrastination or perfectionism.

Practical Strategies for Healing:

• Clarity Systems: Create a streamlined process to capture your thoughts effectively. Meditate for mental clarity. Learn & train to focus. Set up a system to express your way of thinking.
• Goal Setting: Define a clear vision, breaking goals into actionable steps.
• Cognitive Reframing: Replace negative thoughts with empowering beliefs.
• Learning: Engage in continuous learning to expand your mental horizons and challenge outdated beliefs. Prioritize education and learn a new hobby at least every 5 years. More on that in "How to Live Life Backwards"
• Declutter: Organize your physical and digital space to reduce mental overwhelm.
• Mind Mapping: Visualize ideas and connections to stimulate creativity and problem-solving.

The Spiritual Layer – Compass of Purpose

“When you have a big enough dream, you don’t need a crisis.” 
— Jerry Wesch

The spiritual layer anchors the "why" behind actions. It connects us to a deeper sense of meaning and fulfillment.

This layer builds connection—both to oneself and to the greater web of life. To not feel lonely when you’re alone (yes, there is a difference) and to feel connected and in service of the people around us.

When spiritually aligned, we draw strength and motivation not from external rewards but from an inner sense of purpose.

Rooted in stillness and reflection. This layer thrives when we make space for introspection and recovery. Connection to spirit (or in other words god) and restorative practices—with that, the mind settles to receive instructions for the next journey. You don't think, you receive information in stillness.

True spiritual alignment emerges when we silence the external noise and we listen to the emptiness our heart. In this emptiness, everything is found. Instead of running from this emptiness, we embrace it and find everything that we have been longing for

More on the emptiness of the heart in "How to Fix your Lack of Courage".

Restful sleep, mindful pauses, and an awareness of natural cycles—we create the fertile ground where spiritual & also mental clarity flourishes.

This clarity serves as our compass. Whereas the mental layer works out of logic, the spiritual layer works out of an undeniable feeling for the connection to serve something greater than ourselves (community, nation, natural world, god) . It transcends our individuality. You can read more about transcendence and emanation in “living life in creartor mode”.

Common Imbalances:

• Feeling disconnected from meaning or purpose.
• Chronic loneliness or lack of fulfillment.
• Excessive focus on material success.
• Ignoring intuition or inner guidance.
• “When was the last time you sang, danced or painted?”
• Existential anxiety or spiritual bypassing.

Practical Strategies for Healing:

• Introspection: Spend time in reflection through meditation, prayer, or quiet walks in nature.
• Purpose Exploration: Identify core values and what truly brings joy and fulfillment.
• Gratitude Practice: Cultivate a habit of noticing and appreciating life's blessings.
• Mindful Rest: Dedicate time to pause, breathe, and be present without judgment.
• Create Space: Reduce distractions and external noise to connect more deeply with your inner world.
• Uncover your Dream: More info on “What’s your dream, What is your Truth?”

The Emotional Layer – The Motive of Movement

"My cup runneth over" — Hebrew Bible, Psalm 23

The emotional layer governs our feelings, relationships, and responses to experiences.

It acts as the bridge between mental intentions and physical actions.
When balanced, we process experiences with empathy, clarity, and courage.

We then have a harmonious link between our inner and outer worlds. Emotional growth is a key part of maturing into a fully actualized adult.

First principle is to make yourself feel safe.

Healing the emotional world is only possible when you are out of survival mode. Healing the emotional world is essential to breaking traumatic cycles and stepping into a more grounded, empowered version of ourselves. Being an adult means feeling safe.

Many of us carry unresolved emotional wounds from childhood, which can manifest as patterns of fear, avoidance, or overreaction in our adult lives.

Fight or flight mode kicks in. We are in constant stress.

Unmet needs contribute to emotional imbalances. Solutions are going to therapy, being mature in your financial decisions, doing inner child work & making sure you have a stable routine. This also involves eating the right amounts of food early in the day, so your body knows that you are nurtured. Sleep enough and wake up when the sun rises. It can help you uncover and address deep root issues.

Only if you have enough and more for yourself, you can share with others & make your cup runneth over.

Common Imbalances:

• Suppression or avoidance of emotions.
• Overreaction or emotional numbness.
• Difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.
• Unprocessed childhood trauma.
• Feeling unsafe or stuck in survival mode.
• Emotional dependency or codependency.

Practical Strategies for Healing:

• Emotional Safety: Create a routine that supports safety (e.g., financial stability, consistent meals, and sleep). “RRR” Remember routine=rootings.
• Inner Child Work: Reflect on unmet needs from childhood and address them with self-compassion. Example: write “your personal myth”
• Therapy or Counseling: Seek professional help to process deeper emotional wounds.
• Healthy Expression: Practice journaling, talking with trusted friends, or engaging in art to express feelings.
• Boundaries: Learn to set and maintain healthy boundaries in relationships.
• Regulate Stress: Practice nervous system regulation techniques like somatic movement or grounding exercises.

The Physical Layer – The Foundation of All Above

“The concept of total wellness recognizes that our every thought, word, and behavior affects our greater health and well-being. And we, in turn, are affected not only emotionally but also physically and spiritually.”

– Greg Anderson

The physical layer is the foundation upon which all other layers rest.

It encompasses the body, the vessel through which we experience life. The muscles, bones, organs, and nervous system work together in harmony to sustain our existence. When taken care of, the body becomes a source of vitality, enabling us to act on our dreams and live fully.

Remember the 80/20 rule. If you’re doing the right thing 80% of the time, you’re allowed to indulge into unhealthy things 20% of the time.

Your physicality is nurtured through nourishment from whole, nutrient-rich foods, regular movement, restful sleep, and connection to the natural world.

Organic food is key for you because animal fats store toxins from their feed— like industrial waste and low-quality grains. These toxins then transfer to you, increasing stress.

Eating non-organic, especially with a low-fat diet, can even impact your libido, as your body prioritizes survival over reproduction.

The right choice of drinking water is fundamental for hydration, detoxification, and facilitating bodily chemical reactions. The guideline? 2-3 liters of high quality drinking water, daily. If you pee your water out after 20 minutes, it means your body could not absorb it. Add a pinch of sea or celtic salt to your water. This ensures mineralization and your body retaining the water. More on hydration in “Safe” doesn't equal Good: A Simple Hydration Guide

Also learning about natural medicine is also important.

Herbal remedies are a bridge to our cultural heritage, connecting us with the wisdom of generations who relied on the earth for healing. Our cultural development as humanity is intertwined with the knowledge of the power of plants and herbs. Over millennia, we have accumulated and passed down this knowledge from generation to generation.

Our source of sovereignty. Ensure that this invaluable heritage is preserved and can be used by every self-determined and informed individual. The art of using herbs safely is rooted in knowledge and tradition. It‘s essential to seek guidance from knowledgeable practitioners before plucking any plant from the ground.

It’s through these practices that the body builds energy, resilience, and sensibility.

Imbalance in the physical layer reveals itself as fatigue, tension, and chronic stress. Overindulgence in stimulants, poor dietary choices, or neglect of movement drains the body’s vitality and leads to disconnection from the physical vehicle.

The body should be not just a tool for survival but a bridge to experiencing joy, connection, and purpose.

We are stewards of this vessel, and by honoring it, we create the foundation for a life of health, energy, and fulfillment.

Common Imbalances:

• Chronic fatigue or low energy.
• Poor nutrition and hydration.
• Lack of movement or overtraining.
• Poor sleep quality or irregular sleep cycles.
• Dependency on stimulants (e.g., caffeine, sugar).
• Tension or pain in the body.

Practical Strategies for Healing:

• Optimize Nutrition: Eat whole, nutrient-dense foods, and avoid processed and non-organic options.
• Hydrate: Drink 2-3 liters of mineralized water daily to stay hydrated and detoxify the body.
• Movement: Engage in regular physical activity that suits your body.
• Sleep Hygiene: Create a consistent sleep routine, aiming for 7-9 hours of restful sleep per night.
• Stress Management: Practice relaxation techniques like deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or mindfulness.
• Natural Connection: Spend time in nature to recharge and align with natural rhythms. Wake up when sun rises, go to sleep latest 11pm.
• Herbal Remedies: Educate yourself about the usage of natural medicine.

Are you ready to explore your layers and step into your fullest potential?

I hope I could help you with this week’s episode.

Remember, we are complex beings. We are made out of systems within systems within systems that are each dependent on each other to make the whole work.

Stay in connection with those and asses your stress levels honestly.
Reflect on where you are in your journey—physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

kiss kiss,
Tarkan