Is Your Love too Soft or too Hard?

The Duality of Love

Nature wants us to be loving & caring, 
yet at the same time strong & resilient.

This is the duality love.
Love is omnipresent.

To raise child that is strong & loving,
it needs to experience both; the soft & hardness of reality within healthy doses.

A overprotected child,
will be too soft for this cold world.

A child was drilled to be a soldier,
will be too hard to enjoy the fruits of this world.

Knowing the different ways of love,
is knowing the Tai Chi (or Ying & Yang).

Following episodes will build on this insight.

You can use the awareness of dichotomy
within the Tai Chi to improve every aspect of life.

Because the Tai Chi is life.

Maternal Love

And maternal love is like summer.
A mothers love is generally more maternal.
Summer stretches us out. It’s warm, inviting.
We grow, we expand, we thrive.
But too much summer, and we burn.
We dry out.

Maternal love, is expressed through “I love you, no matter what”.

It is

• communal
• all inclusive
• soft, accepting
• and everpresent

It is unconditional love.

No conditions attached to it.
This love allows us to rise after we fall, to forgive ourselves, to heal.

Your ability to get back up from depressing phases is measured by your capacity of holding unconditional love for yourself.

To say: “I love myself, despite this.”
And stop self loathing as soon as possible,
to get back up on your feet.

Stand on fertile ground—ready to rise.
Loving yourself, no matter what, no conditions attached to it, is important.

Note: This necessarily does not have to be from the mother, also a father can show a dominant way of maternal love and vice versa.

Paternal Love

A fathers love is leaning paternal,
while Paternal love is like winter.

Winter pulls us in. It forces us to toughen up, conserve energy, survive.
In winter, we brace against the cold, hunker down, stay close.
But too much winter, and we freeze.
We get stuck—no growth, no movement.

Paternal Love is expressed in: “I love you for your potential”.

Paternal might make you suffer for a moment, because it knows it will make you a better person tomorrow. It shows it’s love within the enabling to reach for a better version of us in the future.

It’s tough love with a purpose—to shape, refine, and sharpen our instincts

In balanced doses.

Paternal love invites

• competition
• periodical presence
• challenges
• resistance
• and organic growth

It is conditional love.

I want you to grow, you have to overcome this.

This love drives us to grow, to strive, to become stronger.
But in excess, it can be cold, unyielding, even damaging.

Your ability to push yourself, within healthy boundaries, is the quality of focus you can carry. It is about moving sustainably towards your healthiest and strongest version.

Love is All, But Love Loves Balance

Life’s about balance.
Love’s about balance.
Warmth and toughness.
Summer and winter.
Too much of either, and we lose our way.

Get them right & we grow

• strong,
• happy,
• and whole.

This is it for this week,

Kiss Kiss,

Tarkan