8 Steps to Fix your Lack of Courage

This is for you, to live boldly & let go of guilt.

I have always considered myself more couragous than the average Joe.
My life situation reflects this quality.

• I grew up in Berlin, Neukölln the hotspot of middle eastern diaspora in Germany,
• Son of a low income, single immigrant mother household.
• Graduated in highly competitive Industrial Design studies (no private school),
• immediately after; signed up as self employed.
• I joined martial arts competitions as a beginner in foreign countries without my coach, just for the experience. Winning did not matter.
• I moved on an island six months after graduating. The island is in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
• Dedicated myself to earn a living without a 9 to 5.
• Generally speaking, I rather take the long way home.

Since then,
I am still standing with ten toes on the floor.
And I am as grateful as it gets.

I can’t think of a more creative, entrepreneurial challenge for me.
I might not be successful yet, but I know a thing or two about taking bold steps.

Let Go of Guilt & Shame!

To get to the heart of this topic, being courageous,
I have to give you some context first.
Let's rewind.

When I was in my early twenties, I began to watch Youtube alot. I received guidance by watching specific Fitness Youtubers such as Elliot Hulse.
They not only did Fitness videos.

They embodied the entrepreneurial spirit.
They told their Story about risking everything.
Risking what?
- Your "secure" job,
- your financial situation,
- life's circumstances humbling you.

As a young buck, when your energy is high, with minimal responsibilities, you may want to leave your family.You want to expand your horizon. Explore what the world has to offer.

In my case, I grew up in conservative households with a specific problem. We lived traditionally and our families are very close. Our low income situation also driven by fear of financial lack.

In reality, my mum was as progressive as it gets in spirit. When we moved to Germany, we had to rely on my father, and then stepfather, thereby Turkish traditions.

So if I would want to leave my family...
they made me feel like I am betraying them.
But that is nonsense.

Let me explain why...

Don't Fear Depth

Your fear of taking initiative often comes from your family, friends, surroundings. It is like they are projecting their own fears onto you.

Let me give my further example:
When your parents tell you that you will forget about them,
they make you doubt yourself.

You start to think “maybe I will forget them”.
This disbelief of Self and doubtfulness sneaks into your system.
A crucial, subtle process that tears you down.

This makes you feel guilty.
This leads to a never-ending cycle.
Your natural rhythm and authentic way of showing love gets interrupted.

It's because you're afraid and ashamed that you're not trying hard enough.
You are losing trust in your way of caring & the journey of your highest potential.

In these types of families, the members are pleasing each other.
Which results in resentment towards each other.

Their subconscious knows deep down:
They are chaining unto each other.

This was the norm and still is for many families.
And is has its good reasons. As tribal members back in time, we needed that to survive. Today, we still need to be good team players for society to function.

Yet, being part of a group should never come at the expense of our individuality.

But why is that so difficult to not care about what other think?
Why are we so conditioned to not trust our individuality?
The answer lies in our biological evolution.

Being together made us thrive.
Being casted out of the clan meant almost certain death.
People are extremely afraid of being austracized.
They feel this fear deep inside.

In ancient times, only your immediate family and clan could exile you.
But now, because of social media, anyone can have an opinion about us.

Times have changed.

You can escape your environment and find friends who share your standards, values, and goals without putting your life at risk.

The reason for that:
We are interconnected through the internet and our travelling capabilities.
Social media has amounts of beneficial attributes to society.

But still,

developing the courage to be disliked is not easy, remember that it is in our nature to care what other people think.

So we are going against our own biology.

Courage at it's Core

"Courage is to take the steps towards freedom.
Trusting this process is a higher octave of raw courage.
Having the courage to be disliked is the ultimate freedom."

Where does courage come from?

In the studies of the archetypal mind, the heart is correlated to the element of fire and the spirit of the lion. The fire that never ceases to be extinguished. The eternal light, governing the heart.

This Quote of a Sufi Master encapsulates the essence of what we are talking about here:

"Those who have accomplished great things, those who have held their life cheap for a high ideal, have not thought about it with their brains; their hearts have felt it. It is the heart quality that gives courage and bravery, not the brain. Therefore if one wants to seek for the divine power of the Almighty God, it should be sought for in one’s own heart.”

Hazrat Inayat Khan in “The Art of Being and Becoming”

If you are an atheist, please don't freak out.

This is not about finding god.

It is more about finding the inner power source of our existence,
which might be the equivalent to God.

Let me expand on this..

The Science of your Heart

What I observed, when speaking about this topic,
is these 3 types of opinionated fractions:

• The science fans being skeptical: How do you scientifically proof this?
• Neutral people: Are open to this topic, but don’t know what being aware of your heart is.
• WuWu spiritual people explain their energetic, subjective experiences. They share their journeys and insights of awakenings. They feel that the heart is truth.

I am considering myself neither of those exclusively, but a mix.

Funny enough:

The science is already there to back the spiritual stuff up.

The Heart has an electromagnetic field.

Research from the HeartMath Institute shows that the heart produces a powerful electromagnetic field. The heart's electrical field, measured in an electrocardiogram (ECG), is 60 times stronger than the brain waves recorded in an electroencephalogram (EEG). (Source: The Energetic Heart Is Unfolding)

The electromagnetic field is shaped like a Torus.
Just like that of the Earth.

It is an extension of you.

The Metaphysics of the Heart

The heart is the center.

It brings together the different realities and polarities within you.

A good connection between the heart and brain is crucial for our well-being.
Like taking care of your muscles, you can also strengthen your connection to your heart. The heart is not only a muscle, it is also important on a metaphysical level.

In this heart field, the negative pole draws in and up and the positive pole projects out and down, creating a balance between the both poles.

This field not only spreads throughout the body but also serves as a sensory organ, expanding out several feet.

It senses and detects the healthiest choices for your well-being.

When you deepen the connection with the wisdom & intelligence of this field, you might find god. You will feel yourself towards a lighter existence.

Lightness means being open, expanded, and aligned with your ultimate goals. Your heart leading your brain is a path of amplified potential.
While your brain leading your heart is the path of cowardice.

The brain is a problem solver.

Do you see life as a problem?

No?

So why do you lead with it? Being on autopilot will make you anxious and afraid. If you use your brain with intention; as a tool, you will become more powerful in the ways you use it.

This path makes you sensitive to the subtle signs of your this field communicating with you.

Let it show you the way!

Choosing the path your well-being & the well-being of others, is health.

And, the way of being. Without lack. Without anything attached to it.

“The Power of now” by Eckhart Tolle is a good book to take as a manual. To go from living in the overworried head, to the realms of awareness. And then to cultivate awareness. Here thought arises in a concsious way. Instead of thinking and identifying with thought as you.

I showed you the benefits of being courageous.

Now I will show you how to be it, with the help of visualization.

If you’re still a person living in fear, doubtful if they will ever take the steps to execution, listen!

I have made some simple steps for you:

8 Steps to Achieving Ultimate Courage

1st: Start by identifying with awareness itself, instead of thoughts

— Visualize awareness being a separate quality from thoughts. They are not on the same wavelength.

— In fact, thoughts are measurable, while awareness itself is a quantum phenomenon yet to be demystified.

2nd: Cultivate Awareness as practice

— feel into your arm, hand, palm, finger

— by that order of magnitude, this exercise helps you to cultivate awareness

— with practice, you will get better at it and start to feel into your organs too

— be patient with yourself, just like exercise, you will get better with time

3rd: Discern if a thought is beneficial for you or not

— you now experienced the difference between awareness and thought

— over time, you will be able to be aware of how thoughts feel in your body

— You will hear the thought, then also distance yourself from it. You can zoom out into body awareness. You can discern whether or not that thought feels good.

4th: Curate your mind as the Gatekeeper

— You have now crowned your awareness as the bouncer of your mind temple.

— keep this practice: discern thoughts, kick the bad ones out, keep the good ones in

— put in place routines and rituals to work with this discernment process

5th: Finetune your Instruments: The Heart and the Brain

— as you progress, your approach will get more nuanced

— You will notice that your entire body, including the sacral, gut, heart, and brain, is like a symphony of instruments. They all communicate with each other.

6th: Trial and Error Phase

— at this point (will happen automatically) you have overcome fearful living, congratulations!

— Because you are out of fear, you can be experimental now; about which choices lead to which outcomes. What is the best for your system?

7th: Be aware of your Pain Body

— because you are out of a fearful mind, does not mean you escaped the suffering.— All your trauma is still saved in your somatic experience, as Eckhart Tolle called it: “The Pain Body”

— You get more and more sophisticated in knowing which choices lead to which outcomes.

— Be aware of what triggers Pain. When and how do you handle these situations

8th: Enjoy living Boldly

— Go out and live your ultimate potential! Your heart knows.

The Benefits of Living Boldly

If you choose the road of love, you can hold hands with your fear and love it as well. This heals the wound and is the only way of wholeness.

The main objective with this article is to activate the courage in your heart. This courage will help you unlearn hatred, guilt, and shame. By reaching out to that, you have more courage, and thereby:

• Proactively execute; reaching your goals more efficiently.
• Activate the courage of yours will lead you to be more energetic and happy
• Dare more & learn how to be deserving.
• Say things with your chest.
• Not dim your light for the sake of pleasing others.

So, what will you gain from applying this process?

“Seek ye first the Kingdom of God, and all these things shall be added unto you.” Christ

In my view of existence, the heart is the kingdom of god.

Thereby, if we trust the advice of Christ, we will accomplish everything we ever wished for. What a promise.

It was a pleasure writing this and I hope you enjoyed.

Let’s trust.

Kiss kiss,

Tarkan